The first step to the new me: Don't stop believing

Well since we talked last I have been a very busy girl so this might get long. lol I want to start first and talk about how I'm working on fixing the way I look at myself. I found an old cigar box that once had belonged to my grandmother, some index cards, and the metal bracelet my kids had given me when I was in the wheel chair. I figured each of these things have had or will have a big place in my life. I was 10 when my grandmother passed away and I have always felt like she was my guardian angel so having something that she once kept something as special as my dads letters from Vietnam in meant that this box meant a lot to her. My metal bracelet my kids gave me is just a cheep little metal band that says " never never never quit". They gave it to me when I started therapy so I would know they were with me during the hard times. On the note cards I have wrote quotes that have inspired me like :instead of wishing you were someone else, be proud of who you are, you never know who has been looking at you wishing they were you. The other one I love is : you are not the mistakes you have made. There are more, but these two for some reason have more meaning to me. I also have two index cards on one every night I have wrote down what I honestly "love" about myself, and on the other one I have wrote down things I love about how I look. I put down something new every night and reread every night the things I have wrote the nights before. I have to say it was hard at first to find things I liked about how I looked. I started with things like have a pretty smile or great toe nails. lol Last nights entry was I love how my legs look so it is getting easier as the days go on. On the things I honestly love about myself I started out with I'm a great mom and last night I wrote down I'm a great "getting healthy" ambassador. I do all of this before I go to bed every night, then I think about my grandmother and her watching me, I look at my bracelet and remember where I can from and think about what a wonderful life I have and how very blessed I am. I let myself feel all the love that comes from that little box and what is inside of it.

This is my little better me box. As far as the workout part of my life I have been busy there also. I've been trying to put in about 7hrs of cardio a week. For the most part I'm getting it in. Even with having a nasty tummy bug last week I got in 5hrs. Last Saturday I met up with Lee Ann, Amanda,Darla, Darla's friend who I'm blanking on a name and their dogs to do the last half of 1/2 marathon. We started out at Cherokee blvd and ended up at Neyland stadium. We also met up with Edee who was hand cycling that day and was going to do the hill of death as I have lovingly come to think of it. lol We were only supposed to do 8 miles but we ended up doing 10.36 miles. I was never so glad to see the stadium. lol. Later that night some of us got together to celebrate Lee Ann's birthday. It was so nice to get to just let our hair down and have a good time. The next day I packed up my son Josh and my pups and met up with Mike at Ijams. After meeting a sweet pup named Mabel the Monday before while we were doing live at 5 at 4 on Chanel 10. She was a sweet girl who had been let get to around 70lbs then was dropped of at young willams. Her new mom works at the vet school and is working very hard at getting her back to being healthy. Anyhow after meeting her I stared thinking about my own pups and how they were getting a little chunky in the midsection. So off to Ijams we went. We did 3 miles which was good because my big dog Jack couldn't have done a step more. Honestly I was starting to worry we were going to have to figure out how to carry his 135lb self back to the car.

getting ready to take on the dreaded hill!

letting our hair down.

Taking the dogs for a walk. Monday I did six miles on the green way and did four miles on the track around work on Tuesday. I let myself rest on Wednesday then on Thursday I did an hour on the stationary bike on rolling hills ( this setting will kick your butt) and then did an hour with the team and our trainer Chris. We were in a room to ourselves and were working on strength exercises. The best part was we got to listen to music. I was soooooo happy when "don't stop believing " by Journey came on. I feel like that song sums up a lot of how I feel right now. Today we met up at the runners market and walked the green way that goes in behind Turkey Creek. We ended up doing 7.75 miles. Then we met up with Edee to have some coffee. Next weekend we are going to walk the Cades Cove loop. I'm excited I have rode my bike there as a kid, but I have never thought I would be strong enough to walk the whole thing.