Just put one foot in front of the other

Yesterday was not only April fools day it was also a very big day in my life. It was the day of the Covenant Health Knoxville marathon 2012. I have been training since November to do the half with my teammates. I have to say that at first I was VERY scared and I also knew that when the race ended so did my team and I have come to the point where I have become almost like family with them and it scared me to think we might not stay together. I have never been good at good byes or even see you later as far as that goes. I love the people I have around me and I hate to think we might not see each other again. We have talked about staying together and we have made plans to do races and hikes and have set dates for them so that did make me feel better. Ok on to yesterday. I got up about 5:00 because we had to be at the expo center at 6:45 and I wanted to make sure that I had a chance to eat and take my drug of choice ibuprofen. lol I met my team on the inside of the expo and it was packed come to find out there were 7,242 preregistered for the races. 1,206 for the kids run,852 for the full marathon,1,827 in the 5k,620 in the four person relay and 2,733 joining me in the 1/2 marathon. So needless to say between the runners and their support teams it was very crowded.

Here is what a little of the crowd looked like passing the start line. When I had started out that morning I had it in my mind I wanted to do 13.1 miles in less than four hours. I know it sounds like a lot and I have been training, but I also knew if I set my goals too high for myself if I didn't reach it I would have been upset I didn't make the time not thrilled by the fact that I had just finished my first 1/2 marathon. My sweet husband had also made a shirt for me so everyone along the path would know it was my first big race and had my famous quote on the back. lol

front

back I started off strong strong with Missy Kane and Scott at my side for most of the fist half.

Me and Scott Then at about mile 10 I hit the wall and hit it hard. I didn't think about my blood sugar dropping and how I should have packed better, but with Scot's help I pushed through the leg cramps the hurting hips and the feeling like I needed either to throw up or to pass out. Scott was a big help to me and I am so very glad that he stayed back with me to make sure I made it to the finish line and he coached me the whole way. What a great guy. I also had people I work with who had cheered me on. Dr. Holloway saw me that morning gave me a hug and told me good luck, Donna Kedrow and her hubby had made a sign for me that said go Melody go and cheered me on and Mary Cate and Mary waited for me on the side walk. I'm a lucky girl to have good friends who know how important this was for me to support me. I managed to finish my first 1/2 marathon according to the email they sent me in 3:50:50. It was right under the 4 hour window I had given myself and the fact I pushed through and crossed the finish line made me so proud.

the girls in front of my sign.

Me and Scott crossing the finish line.

celebrating our victory!

The best part getting to share this wonderful day with my family. Looking back this has been a wonderful journey and I'm so glad I was given the opportunity to be part of it. I have been able to work on Melody both inside and out. I hope that our team sticks together because I love each and everyone of them, but if I don't get a chance to see them again. Thank you for being their for me and for helping me see the person who was in me the whole time!

tougher than I look

This week for the most part has been a great week. I worked out about 10hrs this week and got to spend time with my parents. I also got a new pair of shoes! You know what they say one pair of shoes can change your life and I'm telling you I love my new shoes. They are so me, not only are they colorful and bright they glow in the dark how great is that?

My new shoes!!!! I also found out this weekend that I shouldn't ever go to Wasabi Japanese steakhouse. It is so wonderful and the best way I can describe it is Disney for fat kids. I had never been and as soon as they made a fire that was heart shaped and a volcano out of a onion my inner child was hooked. I said I was catching the rice with my mouth and was doing everything but running around the table with sparklers. I left the restaurant full, I have not been eating until I'm full (miserable) in a long time. It made me feel so sick for about two hours, but dang what an experience. lol. Today we met up with the Knoxville track team in down town Knoxville to do our last run until the race. It started off really good, but about 2 1/2 miles in a hub cap came off of a car barley missed Tonya face and got me in the hand. It happened so fast we all didn't have a clue what had happened until it was all over. I was very glad of two things one it didn't hit Tonya in the face and two that my open wound was bleeding. It was a nasty wound and the blood was helping clean it our a little until I could get back to soap and water.

Me and my new friend Mr. Hubcap

I was so glad I was with my team they were so good to me, even going as far as offering the shirt off their backs. I also was proud the fact that I have a high tolerance for pain and even though it hurt if I kept it elevated and tried to think of other things it didn't hurt too bad. I'm also glad of the fact that I work for some wonderful doctors. One of the doctors I work for met me at our clinic on his day off to say the least. Numbed it up, scrubbed it out put in some stitches and gave me a tetanus shot. I didn't even flinch with that yep that's right they say training for a 1/2 marathon isn't easy and I have to say today was harder than most, but I'm much tougher than I look and battle wounds are always a great conversation starter. lol This week I meet up with the nutritionist for my last visit, learn some easy recipes to cook at weight management class, help with registration for the marathon and run my first 1/2 marathon ever. What a busy but great week. Oh.... and I will be on live at five at four on Monday and my story will be on news papers Friday get fit section front page. See tough and cute. lol

before we fixed it up

after....much better.

living my adventure.

I saw a quote the other day that has summed up my adventure so far. The quote is maybe it's not about the happy ending, maybe its about the story. I think in life we are so busy looking for the happy ending that we don't focus on the wonderful story that or life is in right now. This week has been a great week so far. I did my fit test and even though I knew I wouldn't be pulling the big numbers because I'm still trying to get the prediabetes thing under control, I was was still very happy with my results. According to their scale I had only lost 7lbs since November(the scale at weight management center had me at 13lb weight loss this morning). I lost 1/4 inch off my arms,1 inch off my chest, 1/2 inch off my waist, 2 inches off hips, put on 1 inch on my thighs but that is all muscle. I went from only being able to do 10 push ups to being able to do 25. Here is the best part my VO2 max(the amount that your heart has to pump to get oxygen to your body)went from 26.16 to 45.24. I went from being well below average to well above average and having had a grandmother to die at 50 from a heart attack knowing I have a healthy heart is extremely important to me. My BMI went from 45 to 33.7. So even though my outside numbers are not that big I'm extremely healthy on the inside and to me that is what matters the most the other part will come.

Going Hiking with my parents: This journey hasn't only made me want to be healthier it also has made me want to help the rest of my family get healthier. I was off of work today so I decided since I don't get to see my parents as much as I would like that we should do a parents daughter hike. My father is a type2 diabetic and he needs to be getting out and walking soooo here we went. We went to a place they called the white oak sinks. Its off of school house gap trail. It is a wonderful 2 1/2 mile trail to a waterfall. I was surprised when we got into the valley part of it because there were flowers that were getting ready to bloom for as far as the eye could see. They said it should be in full bloom in 2-3 weeks so I'm planing on going back to see this wonderful sight. Getting to spend time alone with my parents was great, I can't tell you the last time we have had alone time and walking in the woods we got to have a wonderful heart to heart. They told me how very proud they were of me and how they must have done something right as parents because I was such a wonderful woman. They told me that they learned life lessons from me, I was shocked my parents learned life lessons from me? They said that I thought them that even though it might come back bad in the end you have to put your heart out there and do the right thing 100%. That you have to trust the love you give you will receive back and if you don't you have to be happy with the fact you have done what is right.

my mom and dad

the valley all the green is phlox

moss was every where.

On my way home from leaving my parents it was raining even though the sun was out. I looked out my front windshield and I have never seen anything like this before, it looked like the end of a rainbow was going through the hood of my car. It made me happy because it was like God was showing me how lucky I am to be living my life and to have had such a truly heart felt day!

facing my fears

I don't know if I have put this out there before, but here it goes. Even though I have been doing about 7-9hrs of cardio a week and eating like Barb our nutritionist has told me to I have been converting fat into muscle 15lbs to be exact, but I have only dropped 9lbs. I had dropped 11lbs but I have put on more muscle so I'm back up to 200lbs. This was starting to bother me because I know my coach/trainers know what they are talking about and I know Barb knows what she is talking about so I figured I just was doing something wrong or I needed to try harder. A couple of weeks ago when I went to see Barb I told her how I was feeling and that I couldn't understand why my body loved being fat. I told her I'm sure I was doing something wrong to not be getting big results. After we looked at my recent cholesterol/glucose screen and my meal records she had a heart to heart with me. She told me that I needed to make an appointment to see my Dr. and that I needed to have some blood work done to see what was going on because she thought there might be a chance I could be prediabetic. I was hoping she was wrong. I'm not scared of many things, but I'm terrified of being diabetic. I have lost friends to diabetes and I know people who have lost toes/legs because of it. To be honest it scares me more than cancer. I made the appointment with my doctor, did the blood work and Barb was right. I was told today I'm prediabetic. According to the American diabetes association prediabetes is: Before people develop type 2 diabetes, they almost always have "prediabetes"—blood glucose levels that are higher than normal but not yet high enough to be diagnosed as diabetes. There are 79 million people in the United States who have prediabetes. Recent research has shown that some long-term damage to the body, especially the heart and circulatory system, may already be occurring during prediabetes. I was kind of sad at first to get this news. I know with my dad being a type2 I had my chance of getting it, but I'm always one of those it will never be me people. I'm also one of those people that believe that things happen in your life at certain times for a reason. I started thinking I believe that I was given this at this time in my life because I'm already doing the things I need to do to keep it in check. I have the nutritional knowledge and I'm now in shape so having an exercise routine will just be another day. So even though I'm scared of it going into type2 diabetes I know I can face this fear and keep it under control. I honestly think the reason I was chosen at this time to be on the Covenant Health biggest winner team is because someone above knew what was coming in my life and knew if I was to be able to tackle it head on I was going to need to be where I am today with my life. I know I don't say it enough but I'm so very thankful to have been chosen for this wonderful team. I can never thank you all enough for everything you have done for me. I am a much stronger person today inside and out because of it. As far as the prediabetes goes, even after my time on the team is done I'm still going to stay on Barbs diet and keep up with my workouts because I know it is what is going to keep me healthy and its going to help me not go from prediabetic to full blown diabetic.

what a weekend

This has been one of the busiest and also one of the most exciting weekends I've had in a long time. First of all my baby Mason turned 15 on Friday. I swear you turn around and they are almost grown. I'm not sure where all the time has gone, but I've very sure of the fact that I'm doing the right thing by getting healthy so I can have many more years with my family. This weekend my family rented a small little cabin in Townsend. It wasn't anything great and grand, but it was very clean, had a hot tub and was close to Cades Cove. Most of the time the last part wouldn't mater to me, but my team was going to walk the cove loop. So, when I got off work on Friday, we took Mason out to eat and headed up for some hot tub time. I was very tired from working all day and knew I had to be up by 6:45 so I just went ahead and hit the bed. I got up early got bundled up because it was so cold and headed out for my adventure. The loop is like 11 miles so I was thinking to myself on the way up that is close to the half marathon which is 13.1 miles so if I can walk the loop I will have no problem on race day. When all of the team got there and the pictures were all taken we headed out. The Smokey Mnts had gotten a little bit of rain the day before so some of the road ways had water at least ankle deep over them. I was not very excited to get my feet wet and was very glad when Tonya suggested we flag down a truck and see if they would carry us across the water. We flagged down a very nice couple from Alabama (Roll Tide) who were more than happy to help us out. It was kind of funny to see all of us getting into the back of that truck but we did it. There were a lot of deers and turkeys out, but I'm glad that Amanda didn't get her wish and that we would get to see a bear. I would have made the trip in no time if I had seen one and wasn't in a car. lol We walked for what seemed like forever, but we did meet a lot of nice people on the way from other states. That is one of the nice things about my teammates we all love people and have fun getting to talk to people. By the time we were 11 miles in we all became very giddy. We laughed at signs like the one we thought was for the picnic area and was a person on a horse or the fact that Lee Ann kept saying I think the end is right up here. I have never laughed so much. I kept waiting for at any time for Missy our coach to come running back down the road and say "hey guys we have already done the loop twice, did some bike riding and hiked to the top of Mnt. Leconte and back. We were getting worried about you so I decided to run back and see how you were doing." It didn't happen and I might have over exaggerated how much energy Missy has, but she is the most energetic person I know. It is so very nice to have a coach who is just a ball of energy be so proud of you when you have been working hard. She tells us all the time how she is proud of us and that is such a wonderful feeling. Well back to the walk. When we finally did see the light at the end of the tunnel (our cars) we looked at our gps and we had done 13.1 miles. That is the same mileage as the 1/2 marathon it took us four hours, but we did it and we were still alive. I was so excited because I know on race day I will be able to make it and my time will be better because the loop is very hilly. I then got into my car went back to the cabin for some food and hot tub time, oh and a nap. Then we took Mason to Gatlinburg to Ripleys and for some BBQ. I'm kind of sore today in my hips, but it isn't as bad as I thought I would be so I'm a very excited girl. Just a few more weeks and I will get to see myself on the big screen. wooohoooo!

Don't stop believing

Well since we talked last I have been a very busy girl so this might get long. lol I want to start first and talk about how I'm working on fixing the way I look at myself. I found an old cigar box that once had belonged to my grandmother, some index cards, and the metal bracelet my kids had given me when I was in the wheel chair. I figured each of these things have had or will have a big place in my life. I was 10 when my grandmother passed away and I have always felt like she was my guardian angel so having something that she once kept something as special as my dads letters from Vietnam in meant that this box meant a lot to her. My metal bracelet my kids gave me is just a cheep little metal band that says " never never never quit". They gave it to me when I started therapy so I would know they were with me during the hard times. On the note cards I have wrote quotes that have inspired me like :instead of wishing you were someone else, be proud of who you are, you never know who has been looking at you wishing they were you. The other one I love is : you are not the mistakes you have made. There are more, but these two for some reason have more meaning to me. I also have two index cards on one every night I have wrote down what I honestly "love" about myself, and on the other one I have wrote down things I love about how I look. I put down something new every night and reread every night the things I have wrote the nights before. I have to say it was hard at first to find things I liked about how I looked. I started with things like have a pretty smile or great toe nails. lol Last nights entry was I love how my legs look so it is getting easier as the days go on. On the things I honestly love about myself I started out with I'm a great mom and last night I wrote down I'm a great "getting healthy" ambassador. I do all of this before I go to bed every night, then I think about my grandmother and her watching me, I look at my bracelet and remember where I can from and think about what a wonderful life I have and how very blessed I am. I let myself feel all the love that comes from that little box and what is inside of it.

This is my little better me box. As far as the workout part of my life I have been busy there also. I've been trying to put in about 7hrs of cardio a week. For the most part I'm getting it in. Even with having a nasty tummy bug last week I got in 5hrs. Last Saturday I met up with Lee Ann, Amanda,Darla, Darla's friend who I'm blanking on a name and their dogs to do the last half of 1/2 marathon. We started out at Cherokee blvd and ended up at Neyland stadium. We also met up with Edee who was hand cycling that day and was going to do the hill of death as I have lovingly come to think of it. lol We were only supposed to do 8 miles but we ended up doing 10.36 miles. I was never so glad to see the stadium. lol. Later that night some of us got together to celebrate Lee Ann's birthday. It was so nice to get to just let our hair down and have a good time. The next day I packed up my son Josh and my pups and met up with Mike at Ijams. After meeting a sweet pup named Mabel the Monday before while we were doing live at 5 at 4 on Chanel 10. She was a sweet girl who had been let get to around 70lbs then was dropped of at young willams. Her new mom works at the vet school and is working very hard at getting her back to being healthy. Anyhow after meeting her I stared thinking about my own pups and how they were getting a little chunky in the midsection. So off to Ijams we went. We did 3 miles which was good because my big dog Jack couldn't have done a step more. Honestly I was starting to worry we were going to have to figure out how to carry his 135lb self back to the car.

getting ready to take on the dreaded hill!

letting our hair down.

Taking the dogs for a walk. Monday I did six miles on the green way and did four miles on the track around work on Tuesday. I let myself rest on Wednesday then on Thursday I did an hour on the stationary bike on rolling hills ( this setting will kick your butt) and then did an hour with the team and our trainer Chris. We were in a room to ourselves and were working on strength exercises. The best part was we got to listen to music. I was soooooo happy when "don't stop believing " by Journey came on. I feel like that song sums up a lot of how I feel right now. Today we met up at the runners market and walked the green way that goes in behind Turkey Creek. We ended up doing 7.75 miles. Then we met up with Edee to have some coffee. Next weekend we are going to walk the Cades Cove loop. I'm excited I have rode my bike there as a kid, but I have never thought I would be strong enough to walk the whole thing.

our walk today

sweet Mabel

Josh with Jack and Parker

Loving my new look

Taken today

me last Labor day..what a difference a few months make

learning to love me again

This week has been a hard week for me. I would like to say its all been physical but to be honest most of it has been mental. I have a bad case of shin splints from the race on Sat and I've slowed myself down this week to recoup and try to get back to 100%. I've done mostly biking,planks and working out on my balancing ball. So as far as my shin is going I'm getting much better with it. Like I said on my last blog I'm my worst critic. I've learned that through sarcasm and laughter I can hide the fact I don't like who I have become. I didn't realize I was so negative about myself until this week one of my friends had pointed it out to me. People will say "wow look your getting skinny" or "your so pretty", and I will say things like well I'm trying or yeah right for a big girl. I didn't realize until this week by me doing this to myself I'm lowering my self esteem by a lot. I do have a problem with looking in the mirror and still seeing the big girl I once was and I sometimes think people are only saying thing like that to be nice, but what I have decided is I'm going to learn how to love me again. I'm going to start small and when people tell me I look pretty or that I'm getting thin I'm going to smile and say thank you. I'm not going to say whatever or think they are just trying to be nice. If they are telling me that without being prompted they must mean it and I have to start seeing it that way. I also got a chance to talk to biggest looser contestant Joe Mitchell today, he is a very nice man and had a great way for me to quit looking at the negative. I'm going to put a small note book beside my bed and every night I'm going to write down just one thing I "honestly" love about myself. Then I'm going to reread all of the things I have written down. I think by writing it down and knowing I'm only putting down what I honestly love it will help me see the real me not the one I see now. As for me learning how to love me again will probably be the biggest hurdle in my weight loss. I am going to take on this challenge and conquer it! one thing I "honestly " love about myself: I'm a great mom!