learning to love me again

This week has been a hard week for me. I would like to say its all been physical but to be honest most of it has been mental. I have a bad case of shin splints from the race on Sat and I've slowed myself down this week to recoup and try to get back to 100%. I've done mostly biking,planks and working out on my balancing ball. So as far as my shin is going I'm getting much better with it. Like I said on my last blog I'm my worst critic. I've learned that through sarcasm and laughter I can hide the fact I don't like who I have become. I didn't realize I was so negative about myself until this week one of my friends had pointed it out to me. People will say "wow look your getting skinny" or "your so pretty", and I will say things like well I'm trying or yeah right for a big girl. I didn't realize until this week by me doing this to myself I'm lowering my self esteem by a lot. I do have a problem with looking in the mirror and still seeing the big girl I once was and I sometimes think people are only saying thing like that to be nice, but what I have decided is I'm going to learn how to love me again. I'm going to start small and when people tell me I look pretty or that I'm getting thin I'm going to smile and say thank you. I'm not going to say whatever or think they are just trying to be nice. If they are telling me that without being prompted they must mean it and I have to start seeing it that way. I also got a chance to talk to biggest looser contestant Joe Mitchell today, he is a very nice man and had a great way for me to quit looking at the negative. I'm going to put a small note book beside my bed and every night I'm going to write down just one thing I "honestly" love about myself. Then I'm going to reread all of the things I have written down. I think by writing it down and knowing I'm only putting down what I honestly love it will help me see the real me not the one I see now. As for me learning how to love me again will probably be the biggest hurdle in my weight loss. I am going to take on this challenge and conquer it! one thing I "honestly " love about myself: I'm a great mom!