facing my fears

I don't know if I have put this out there before, but here it goes. Even though I have been doing about 7-9hrs of cardio a week and eating like Barb our nutritionist has told me to I have been converting fat into muscle 15lbs to be exact, but I have only dropped 9lbs. I had dropped 11lbs but I have put on more muscle so I'm back up to 200lbs. This was starting to bother me because I know my coach/trainers know what they are talking about and I know Barb knows what she is talking about so I figured I just was doing something wrong or I needed to try harder. A couple of weeks ago when I went to see Barb I told her how I was feeling and that I couldn't understand why my body loved being fat. I told her I'm sure I was doing something wrong to not be getting big results. After we looked at my recent cholesterol/glucose screen and my meal records she had a heart to heart with me. She told me that I needed to make an appointment to see my Dr. and that I needed to have some blood work done to see what was going on because she thought there might be a chance I could be prediabetic. I was hoping she was wrong. I'm not scared of many things, but I'm terrified of being diabetic. I have lost friends to diabetes and I know people who have lost toes/legs because of it. To be honest it scares me more than cancer. I made the appointment with my doctor, did the blood work and Barb was right. I was told today I'm prediabetic. According to the American diabetes association prediabetes is: Before people develop type 2 diabetes, they almost always have "prediabetes"—blood glucose levels that are higher than normal but not yet high enough to be diagnosed as diabetes. There are 79 million people in the United States who have prediabetes. Recent research has shown that some long-term damage to the body, especially the heart and circulatory system, may already be occurring during prediabetes. I was kind of sad at first to get this news. I know with my dad being a type2 I had my chance of getting it, but I'm always one of those it will never be me people. I'm also one of those people that believe that things happen in your life at certain times for a reason. I started thinking I believe that I was given this at this time in my life because I'm already doing the things I need to do to keep it in check. I have the nutritional knowledge and I'm now in shape so having an exercise routine will just be another day. So even though I'm scared of it going into type2 diabetes I know I can face this fear and keep it under control. I honestly think the reason I was chosen at this time to be on the Covenant Health biggest winner team is because someone above knew what was coming in my life and knew if I was to be able to tackle it head on I was going to need to be where I am today with my life. I know I don't say it enough but I'm so very thankful to have been chosen for this wonderful team. I can never thank you all enough for everything you have done for me. I am a much stronger person today inside and out because of it. As far as the prediabetes goes, even after my time on the team is done I'm still going to stay on Barbs diet and keep up with my workouts because I know it is what is going to keep me healthy and its going to help me not go from prediabetic to full blown diabetic.